Dear Teenage Self

Dear Teenage Self

Did you eat today? I guess not because food equals weight gain. Let me tell you, you are not fat. People might call you that because that is what they call anyone who is not skinny or has a round face shape. No need to puke out food in the bathroom sink because you are afraid of gaining weight, it is rupturing your stomach and that is the reason why it hurts all time. Eat healthily and surround yourself with people who love you for your nature, worth, and personality instead of your body. Don’t get conscious about how you look, you look just fine, or should I say that you are pretty, stop putting on make-up for all the wrong reasons. If you do not stop now, you will end up hating your face, food, people, actually gaining weight which is not healthy, a face that is scarred and you will stand in front of the mirror lost because nothing will make sense. Also, the purging you do in the sink, you have an ED, Bulimia, please read more.

Desire a man that supports you in all life decisions and don’t fall for the gimmick of an open relationship, that is not you. You need love, from one and only one person, and trust me it will be all that will be ever needed, it will be all that you need. Let me ask you, would like your guy friends to knock at your door when you are married with kids? No, right. So please stop thinking that you will stop when the time is right because there will be no better timing than now. If you don’t stop now, you will end up too used and broken that no touch will make you feel new again. You will stand in front of the mirror regretting how you could not do anything when someone touched you in the wrong way, because you were a kid, and you shared the blame for your bad choices and kept quiet. This will give you months of sleepless nights and even hatred of physical touch and then you will do a dumb thing by resorting to alcohol and drugs to feel okay instead of seeing a therapist because in your mind it will seem that to the world, a therapist is not easy to explain but alcohol is.

Study well, I know you are doing not so bad, but can we please start making notes and start updating that blog of yours you haven’t touched? Alcohol is amusing I know, but girl put a cap on it because that will make you sleep through the good golden days, so maybe have your drink after you are done making the most of it and please refrain from drinking in the day, you aren’t a hopeless person, and this is NOT COOL. Update your blog every day and you will be surprised to see how good you can write trust me; I am doing it now and I feel if only I could tell you what we are missing. If you don’t start making the most of it know you will end up feeling unfortunate that the kids who are “not so smart” have made it bigger than you because you were busy watching the days go by. Also, please don’t switch your branch from IT to Electronics and Communication. I work in IT now and I wish I knew more. You will not like Electronics and Communication, plus it is a lot of burden too.

Keep a hold on your anger, if you want people to be better then stay and bring a change instead of leaving and cornering yourself, it will give you peace at that moment but that is not what a winner and leader do. Yes, I am talking about quitting the dramatics society, please don’t. You will be doing exactly what they want you to do. Stay there and show them you are the boss and you got nothing to be afraid of, you will have a ton lots of support so grab whatever you have and fight the filth out of your home, yes consider it yours. Do not quit the basketball team, do not quit the college fests, do not quit the poetry recitals, just please bear the gaze and they will roll their eyes when they see you because that is how much they want to replace you. If you don’t stay you will end up feeling lonely and fail to recognize your potential until you have no time to do it, well there will always be time, I am trying but if you can support me too, we will be the queen we should be now.

Love your family a little more, okay this might seem unfair because as a teenager you are not supposed to know better and somethings come to us with age but hey this is me writing this to you and a little secret for you, your folks are not that bad. Okay let me put it out this way for you, why do we think that parents always have to be the best, look around you and your friends, are you all guys the same? No, right? Some of you are emotional, some are rude, some even cruel. So, you all are going to grow up and eventually be parents too, please stop this expectation from your parents to act like saints. It is right if someone is not capable of upbringing a child with love and care they should not be allowed to but there is no such rule yet. Accept your folks as people who love you but still as people, do not place them so high that you forget they are regular people like us and entitled to wrong judgments and mistakes, at the end of the day they care for you. Speaking personally, our parents are way cooler than you think and there will be no age where you both will get along a 100%, you just need to understand how to co-exist because borderline is you love each other, and nobody means unwell for anyone. Try and stay quiet when they shout at you, especially mom, trust me when I say, mom and we have the same anger and if you think she is unreasonable at times, so are we. It runs in the blood so just keep quiet and listen to her lecture, it will end sooner that way, and you will get less heat. Later, you can discuss and talk it out or just maybe talk to your elder brother about it and decide what should be done. If you don’t love them now, you will regret not being there for them when you will watch them turning old, weak and grey because we are going to get hit by a Pandemic and you will be stuck at home for more than a year straight away. Yes, google what a Pandemic is, I will tell you about it in my next letter maybe because that is not important for you to know now. Even if I tell you and you tell this to the world, they might put you in an asylum, so it is best you know nothing about it yet.

There are a lot more things I want to tell you and want you to make better, but I think let’s do it one step at a time, I will write soon. Please start by working on what I said that is the list of most basic things you need to know, accept and change!

You are very courageous and one last secret, even though I messed up all these things stated above am still doing good in life, I have some regrets, and everyone my age has some of their own, but the bottom line is I go to bed happy, and I am moving on towards a better life. I thought I should write you up so we can be better because it never hurts to be better, right?

Take care and keep smiling. Eat your meals on time and don’t stay up late watching pornography.

Love

You